There's a point about a quarter of the way into Immortals when the Oracle (Freida Pinto) and her three colleagues are all lined up beside a drinking hole which looks suspiciously like a rich kid's wading pool), and look a little like a lampshade display. I start with this observation for two reasons; firstly, there are a lot of moments in this film that are just a little weird and you have to wonder either what's going on, or what's actually curious in this particular scene.
Secondly, there are a lot of silly hats in this movie. A lot of silly hats.
300 has an awful lot to answer for. Sometime after this movie came out, people realised that there was a market for films built around the ancient times, particularly incorporating the Greek gods, because those guys are always a lot of fun. It also proved that you can make a whole movie against a green screen. Sometimes these movies are really good, sometime they are a bit rubbish, and sadly Immortals falls into the "bit rubbish" category.
The cast is not particularly noteworthy. Mickey Rourke plays King Hyperion who has decided he is going to get the Bow of Espirus in order to release the Titans to...well, it's not clear what he plans to do with them. Ostensibly it seems that he wants the Titans to kill the Gods, but he makes it clear he doesn't believe in the gods, so it seems a bit of an odd exercise. Rourke plays his usual character, gravel voiced, snarling and just a bit fat in his outfit. Having complained that Marvel stopped him from creating a wonderfully, in-depth three-dimensional character in Iron Man 2, presumably he'll be complaining about a similar thing in this film. Hyperion is evil for the sake of being evil. He disfigures his soldiers and crushes their testicles, muttering something about the entire world being remade in his image. If that means he plans on repopulating Earth with all the women he can find, he's certainly set himself up a task and a half. And for most of the movie, he wears an astonishingly silly hat, that looks like a claw with a lot of teeth around the face area.
His opponent is Theseus, played by the new Superman, Henry Cavill. Cavill is slick as the hero, and after seeing this I have every confidence for him as Superman. Sadly, he lacks the charisma to make this movie work without a plot or great supporting cast. The rest of the cast includes John Hurt as a strange old man, Isabel Lucas getting her boobs out as Athena, Luke Evans as Zeus (after playing Apollo in Clash Of The Titans - stereotyped or what?) and Stephen Dorf as Theseus' mate, who seems a womaniser but never actually gets a woman. Oh, and Freida Pinto who is most notable in this film for the moment she strips down to nothing, which surprised most of the audience I was with. We weren't prudes, but it did seem a little unexpected in the film.
If I were honest, the thing that irked me most about this film was the way that it dealt with the Greek Gods. Despite the movie being called Immortals, there seems to be no actual immortals in it. The Gods are killed by the Titans, the Titans are killed by the Gods, and Theseus is a mortal from the outset. The film presents us with the Gods and their amazing power, but shies away from having a real minotaur running around the labyrinth for Theseus to kill. A lot of aspects of the film are designed to look amazing without adhering to any particular form of common sense - the Titans number about twelve in the stone box they are locked in, but once released they just seem to multiply. Although there were twelve Olympian Gods that I remember, and a ton more beyond that, in this film only six gods ever make an appearance. Even when the Titans are released, only five of them show up. And in Olympus they all wear really silly hats.
As usual there is no good use made of the 3D, and the sound for this movie seemed terrible - rather than a soundscape of fighting, it was more an onslaught of sounds that all melded together without giving the listener any clear indication of what they were hearing. The film looks fantastic, and should definitely be seen on the big screen. Once you reduce that to the size of a television, no matter how big, you won't capture the enormous vistas that director Tarsem Singh clearly wanted you to see.
But, in truth, this film has no real teeth. It wants to be something amazing, but comes across as a limp blanket. There will no doubt be a sequel, but hopefully the script will actually amount to something. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to cross my fingers and hope for a film where the Greek Gods are presented in a truly spectacular way.
Secondly, there are a lot of silly hats in this movie. A lot of silly hats.
300 has an awful lot to answer for. Sometime after this movie came out, people realised that there was a market for films built around the ancient times, particularly incorporating the Greek gods, because those guys are always a lot of fun. It also proved that you can make a whole movie against a green screen. Sometimes these movies are really good, sometime they are a bit rubbish, and sadly Immortals falls into the "bit rubbish" category.
The cast is not particularly noteworthy. Mickey Rourke plays King Hyperion who has decided he is going to get the Bow of Espirus in order to release the Titans to...well, it's not clear what he plans to do with them. Ostensibly it seems that he wants the Titans to kill the Gods, but he makes it clear he doesn't believe in the gods, so it seems a bit of an odd exercise. Rourke plays his usual character, gravel voiced, snarling and just a bit fat in his outfit. Having complained that Marvel stopped him from creating a wonderfully, in-depth three-dimensional character in Iron Man 2, presumably he'll be complaining about a similar thing in this film. Hyperion is evil for the sake of being evil. He disfigures his soldiers and crushes their testicles, muttering something about the entire world being remade in his image. If that means he plans on repopulating Earth with all the women he can find, he's certainly set himself up a task and a half. And for most of the movie, he wears an astonishingly silly hat, that looks like a claw with a lot of teeth around the face area.
His opponent is Theseus, played by the new Superman, Henry Cavill. Cavill is slick as the hero, and after seeing this I have every confidence for him as Superman. Sadly, he lacks the charisma to make this movie work without a plot or great supporting cast. The rest of the cast includes John Hurt as a strange old man, Isabel Lucas getting her boobs out as Athena, Luke Evans as Zeus (after playing Apollo in Clash Of The Titans - stereotyped or what?) and Stephen Dorf as Theseus' mate, who seems a womaniser but never actually gets a woman. Oh, and Freida Pinto who is most notable in this film for the moment she strips down to nothing, which surprised most of the audience I was with. We weren't prudes, but it did seem a little unexpected in the film.
If I were honest, the thing that irked me most about this film was the way that it dealt with the Greek Gods. Despite the movie being called Immortals, there seems to be no actual immortals in it. The Gods are killed by the Titans, the Titans are killed by the Gods, and Theseus is a mortal from the outset. The film presents us with the Gods and their amazing power, but shies away from having a real minotaur running around the labyrinth for Theseus to kill. A lot of aspects of the film are designed to look amazing without adhering to any particular form of common sense - the Titans number about twelve in the stone box they are locked in, but once released they just seem to multiply. Although there were twelve Olympian Gods that I remember, and a ton more beyond that, in this film only six gods ever make an appearance. Even when the Titans are released, only five of them show up. And in Olympus they all wear really silly hats.
As usual there is no good use made of the 3D, and the sound for this movie seemed terrible - rather than a soundscape of fighting, it was more an onslaught of sounds that all melded together without giving the listener any clear indication of what they were hearing. The film looks fantastic, and should definitely be seen on the big screen. Once you reduce that to the size of a television, no matter how big, you won't capture the enormous vistas that director Tarsem Singh clearly wanted you to see.
But, in truth, this film has no real teeth. It wants to be something amazing, but comes across as a limp blanket. There will no doubt be a sequel, but hopefully the script will actually amount to something. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to cross my fingers and hope for a film where the Greek Gods are presented in a truly spectacular way.
And for most of the movie, he wears an astonishingly silly hat, that looks like a claw with a lot of teeth around the face area.
ReplyDeleteIt looked like a giant toothed vagina and you know it :P
Mr. C.