Jaws proved one important thing - the combination of hot young girls in bikinis and sharks is a definite money spinner. Three spin-offs and multiple copycats later brings us to Shark Night 3D which is one of those movies that really is so terrible it's great. Craptastic, was the word used, and you can't deny it. And it really doesn't stray to far from the "hot young girls in bikinis and sharks" formula that has served so well for so long.
But let's be critical here, and the first thing we need to look at is the 3D which, like so many movies, makes absolutely no difference whatsoever to the film. Yes there are a few moments where blood seems to float out of the screen, and two moments featuring sharks leaping out of the water are enhanced by the 3D, but for the remaining 95% of the film it's a complete waste of time. Mr M even went so far as to point out towards the end of the film, that we could take our 3D glasses off and watch without any significant loss of picture. It's a sad state of affairs when the 3D effect is only noticeable in the pattern on the shirt some guy is wearing.
Sara Paxton heads the cast - the star of such great films as Aquamarine and, er...The Last House On The Left, Ms Paxton looks amazing in a blue bikini. Which is good, because once she changes into it when the random group of students reach the remote island they are vactioning on, she doesn't get out of it for the rest of the film. It's also good because she actually doesn't have much of a role in the film. At one point, when the writer or director suddenly realised that the actions of her character were making no sense, she suddenly spouts a story that is so wildly amazing you can't help but laugh at it (and Ms Paxton's desperation to make the story believable only helps the humour).
Dustin Milligan of 90210 fame, and Chris Carmack of The OC are the two male leads, and both are just bizarre. Milligan plays a geek (we know he's a geek because he wears big black glasses in his first appearance) who is secretly in love with Sara Paxton, while Carmack plays a tattooed thug who is not-so-secretly in love with Sara Paxton. Milligan's character - a medical student - does actually get to have some good moments in the film, while Carmack is obviously completely bewildered with what he's supposed to be doing, attempting to find some balance between the potential rekindling of his love with Sara, and the fact he's actually a complete psycho who wants to watch sharks eat people.
That was the plot of the film, by the way, in case you just missed it. Group of guys - obviously having watched too much Scream - decide to film people getting eaten by sharks to make a new reality show. It'll probably be a huge success.
Chris Zylka, Joel David Moore and Sinqua Walls play the remainder of the guys - a narcacisstic model, a geek and the token black guy who is the only person to kill a shark by punching it in the head repeatedly before stabbing it. It's a great moment of the film and kept me entertained for hours later. Katharine McPhee and Alyssa Diaz also look fabulous in bikinis (or in McPhee's case, her underwear), and again that's good because they have very little character outside of that. The only two remaining cast members are Donal Logue and Joshua Leonard, one of whom is not who he appears to be. I won't ruin it for you, because I'm sure you want to be shocked and surprised when the shock and surprise happens.
It's a terrible film that is so ridiculous it can't help but entertain for the entire running time. Strangely enough, though, the excesses of this kind of movie - lots of gore and nudity - are actually non-existant, as though it were the intention, but no one had the guts to really pull it off, and there are moments when that shows. It's a little like a serial killer who's a bit coy about actually carrying out his job, and the movie does suffer a little because of this. Still, there were one or two moments when I was genuinely shocked by something and that's rare in horror films, so this one does have some achievements under its belt.
David R Ellis, the director of this masterpiece, also directed Final Destination 2, The Final Destination and Snakes On A Plane, but this movie isn't anywhere near as good as those films. It's a great film to turn off to and simply watch, and one that will get better the more pissed you are, or the later at night it is. Not a masterpiece, but there are less entertaining pieces of shit out there.
But let's be critical here, and the first thing we need to look at is the 3D which, like so many movies, makes absolutely no difference whatsoever to the film. Yes there are a few moments where blood seems to float out of the screen, and two moments featuring sharks leaping out of the water are enhanced by the 3D, but for the remaining 95% of the film it's a complete waste of time. Mr M even went so far as to point out towards the end of the film, that we could take our 3D glasses off and watch without any significant loss of picture. It's a sad state of affairs when the 3D effect is only noticeable in the pattern on the shirt some guy is wearing.
Sara Paxton heads the cast - the star of such great films as Aquamarine and, er...The Last House On The Left, Ms Paxton looks amazing in a blue bikini. Which is good, because once she changes into it when the random group of students reach the remote island they are vactioning on, she doesn't get out of it for the rest of the film. It's also good because she actually doesn't have much of a role in the film. At one point, when the writer or director suddenly realised that the actions of her character were making no sense, she suddenly spouts a story that is so wildly amazing you can't help but laugh at it (and Ms Paxton's desperation to make the story believable only helps the humour).
Dustin Milligan of 90210 fame, and Chris Carmack of The OC are the two male leads, and both are just bizarre. Milligan plays a geek (we know he's a geek because he wears big black glasses in his first appearance) who is secretly in love with Sara Paxton, while Carmack plays a tattooed thug who is not-so-secretly in love with Sara Paxton. Milligan's character - a medical student - does actually get to have some good moments in the film, while Carmack is obviously completely bewildered with what he's supposed to be doing, attempting to find some balance between the potential rekindling of his love with Sara, and the fact he's actually a complete psycho who wants to watch sharks eat people.
That was the plot of the film, by the way, in case you just missed it. Group of guys - obviously having watched too much Scream - decide to film people getting eaten by sharks to make a new reality show. It'll probably be a huge success.
Chris Zylka, Joel David Moore and Sinqua Walls play the remainder of the guys - a narcacisstic model, a geek and the token black guy who is the only person to kill a shark by punching it in the head repeatedly before stabbing it. It's a great moment of the film and kept me entertained for hours later. Katharine McPhee and Alyssa Diaz also look fabulous in bikinis (or in McPhee's case, her underwear), and again that's good because they have very little character outside of that. The only two remaining cast members are Donal Logue and Joshua Leonard, one of whom is not who he appears to be. I won't ruin it for you, because I'm sure you want to be shocked and surprised when the shock and surprise happens.
It's a terrible film that is so ridiculous it can't help but entertain for the entire running time. Strangely enough, though, the excesses of this kind of movie - lots of gore and nudity - are actually non-existant, as though it were the intention, but no one had the guts to really pull it off, and there are moments when that shows. It's a little like a serial killer who's a bit coy about actually carrying out his job, and the movie does suffer a little because of this. Still, there were one or two moments when I was genuinely shocked by something and that's rare in horror films, so this one does have some achievements under its belt.
David R Ellis, the director of this masterpiece, also directed Final Destination 2, The Final Destination and Snakes On A Plane, but this movie isn't anywhere near as good as those films. It's a great film to turn off to and simply watch, and one that will get better the more pissed you are, or the later at night it is. Not a masterpiece, but there are less entertaining pieces of shit out there.
You know, I have this at home ready to watch - and I might still do so! I thought it would be crap, but enjoyable crap. I read somewhere that the title right up until the end was "untitled shark movie" - would have been awesome to keep calling it that! :)
ReplyDeleteWorking my way through the backlog...Got to this post...Realised I'm Mr M. Not Mr C. My bad.
ReplyDeleteThis movie was fun.
I hope craptastic catches on.
Mr. C./M.